10 Reasons to Elope
Reasons why eloping is for you
Some people dream about their wedding day since they were young or had their first big relationship. The ideas you start having around the dream wedding day is based on what you see around you and what is trendy in the society and culture. Some people have pressure from their family and friends to do things a certain way and sometimes we don’t want to disappoint.
Once they start planning their big day they become overwhelmed, stressed, and many couples say that this process hasn’t been meaningful at all and they were excited for everything to pass to be done with it.
Reasons of why people elope are very different from couple to couple. The girls for Adventure Instead ( photographers specialized on elopements) asked over 200 couples that eloped why they did it. Surprisingly- the actual driving force behind eloping isn’t costs and budgets but authenticity, intimate experience, intention, less family drama, valuing experiences over stuff, less stress and anxiety, too much planning, not the center of attention and life is meant to be an adventure.
Is eloping for you?
1.You don’t want the hassle
Organizing a big wedding can be a big pain if you are not the type A organized and ready to do this dance for over 12 months. Not everyone is cut for this challenge and not every couple is thriving doing it. So many brides are saying after the wedding “ I wish we eloped”. An elopement is a smaller production that can be easily planned even in as short as a week. You are flexible to pick any location you have in mind, the logistics are more simple than a wedding and the to do list is vastly shorter. Also, managing guests on your wedding day is another task some people don’t love and even if you delegate all these tasks there is still stress around it.
2. You want an Intimate experience
There is something so incredibly romantic to a small intimate ceremony. Without the extended list of guests that you “have to” invite, you can actually have a private ceremony without a big audience and you will probably spend more time with your partner on your wedding day. In a traditional wedding some partners have their first look late in the day before the ceremony and they spend more than half of the day without even seeing each other.
3. Authenticity is important for you
It’s harder in a traditional bigger wedding to do everything you have in mind because you have some restrictions from the venues and do many other regulations. Eloping lets you be creative in any way and allows you to organize your day the way it feels right for you. You basically throw away the rule book and skip all the traditions that may not feel authentic to you. A big wedding day is a step by step list of traditions that you can’t connect with and that’s fine- maybe cutting a cake in front of 150 people is not appealing for you.
Your wedding day is about you and the commitment you’re about to make, so if you want to include a hiking with your dog, a swim in the ocean, or a roadtrip in the mountains on your wedding day- eloping has no rules and you can do all that.
4. I want just the most important people with me
You can elope alone, just you and your partner, or you can have your family and closest friends. There are people that are not close with their family or have family drama and they don’t want to upset them by not making them part of the wedding. Eloping resolves that problem in an elegant way and avoids family complications. So many times as a photographer I felt a weird vibe, anxiety or nerves around a situation created by a relative. Nobody should be mad or stressed at their wedding- period! A big family centered wedding can bring lots of unpleasant moments if the family is complicated. I’ve seen relatives being jealous, brides crying, stressed and anxious about pleasing a parent. I’ve seen it all. It’s our family and we love them, but It should absolutely not be about them if you are not connected to them.
Others include just their parents or siblings in an intimate ceremony, others bring along their kids or best friends. And most of the couples have a big party at home after they eloped to make everyone feel included.
5. You value experience over stuff
When people are valuing experiences over things they are definitely drawn to elopements. Spending thousands of dollars on decorations, food, centerpieces and favors is not how they want to spend their money. Some couples simply want to invest those money in a honeymoon or eloping in another country that is on their bucket list.
For the couples that are naturally more eco-conscious they don’t want to participate in producing more waste and they are more likely to elope. An average wedding produces 400 lbs of garbage, which means that in one year alone, billions of pounds of trash accumulate, all for one single special day in a person’s life.
6. You don’t want the high expectations
Sending 200 invitations to your guests is definitely a start in setting the expectations. You become an event planner for the biggest event you probably planned in your whole life and you should have a set of skills that you probably don’t have. Even if you have an event planner, the stress of having everything run smoothly, in time and in line with what others expect from you can cause anxiety, especially if their approval matters for you.
Eloping will leave less room for surprises and even if things don’t go as planned you don’t have to worry about anyone else but yourselves. So if you don’t like pressure and want a stress free day you should probably elope.
7. You don't like the planning
So many times, the day before the weddings, I hear from my brides that they didn’t even start writing their vows because they had so many things on their mind and so many things to take care of. The week before is filled with last minute things to do and you’re probably trying to accommodate everyone that traveled for your wedding, look over the details, timelines, check in with vendors, the event planner etc.
It all starts fun, you have dreams and visions of how you want the bridesmaids dresses, flowers, the wedding dress and you get excited. But things will start piling up, the lists and questions that need to be answered, like: “What time is the shuttle picking up my aunt?; Is he bringing a +1?; Will they get mad if they are not in the wedding party?; Do I need insurance?; How many hundreds more I have to pay?”
Elopements can free you from all this and that’s a reason why they can be called “last-minute”. You can keep it simple, you can have only what makes sense for you, literally just get a dress, rings, flowers, pick a location, hire a photographer and officiant- or not, and go get married. And if you want your friends- awesome! Rent a big house and have them all stay there, order some food and party till the next morning.
8. You are an introvert or don’t like being the center of the attention
DON’T WORRY… you don’t have to go through that. You can have a day where you are exactly how you want to be, you can say your vows intimately and not using a speaker so that all 150 people can hear you. Chances are that for the 40% of the population that are introverts- big wedding are not their thing, because it would make them uncomfortable and vulnerable. You don’t have to feel judged or on a spot.
9. I want adventure
If your style is not to have a life of routines, walking in life following all the traditions and check all the steps and boxes, then you probably see the world as a place of opportunities. If it’s in your nature to explore, discover and grow and you found a partner that is exactly like you, curious and adventurous, then your wedding should reflect just that. Adventure is a belief that the best experiences in life are probably found in vulnerability, growth, risk taking, life’s moments, places and people. It’s a lifestyle and it makes sense to start the life together being on an adventure, focused on what makes your heart beat. It doesn’t have to be rock climbing- it can simply be seeing a place you always wanted to see or doing something that always meant something for you as a couple.
10. You value photography and memories
So many couples are worried that a typical big wedding forces them to be rushed and stage every step of the day to check the box of “to do shots”. Often, timelines are packed with events that need to be photographed, the time is strict and couples are feeling like this can’t capture who they really are. They are forced to smile so that formals can be taken in 10 minutes, fake a cake cutting just for the pictures, pose for the wedding party, pose for sunset pictures that have to be done before the speeches, etc. Of course, is not always the case and these moments can be meaningful, but when they are not it can look fake.
Elopements give you the time to get relaxed, capture candid moments, get used to the camera and get beautiful genuine moments.
Memories are our legacy and the most precious possessions and eloping allows you to have time and opportunity to be in your element. And this can only lead to baddass photos!
If you think eloping is for you and you are already here reading this, I respect the bravery! Everyone has their own unique and authentic version of who they are and if that doesn't include a traditional wedding, then exploring your options probably took you to the idea of eloping.