How to include your loved ones in your elopement
First thing first- elopements can only involve the couple is a myth. There are no rules. No rules, guys. You can have your entire family with you, your best friends, your dogs, anyone. Or you can have them for a party later on. It’s absolutely up to you that’s why you’re thinking of eloping. BUT, in case you decide to have an intimate ceremony, eloping can save you from some uncomfortable reactions if your loved ones are not invited. So I’m going to talk about some ideas on how to still involve them and make them feel loved.
When you start planning your elopement, this should be one of your first questions: do I have a guest list or is it just me and my partner?
eloping with family
Over the years, half of my couples included other people in their destination celebrations. Either is family, their kids or their closest friends, they couldn’t imagine doing this without them by their side. Some stay around a small number of 4-5 people and some go all the way up to 15-20 guests and it still feels intimate and personal. What actually matters is that the decision is yours and there shouldn’t be any pressure to meet any expectations from anyone. Lots of any? Well, yes. If you see this as a moment to connect the two families together then go for it. And the good news is that anything is possible and they can tag along your craziest dreams and locations. Of course, you won’t make grandma hike 10 miles to that beautiful view, so you’ll have to be considerate and maybe hike there after the ceremony just the two of you while she waits in the shade.
Yes, you can still have bridesmaids, they can still have matching outfits, everything you love about other traditions you can have. You can have a flower girl and you can have your dad walk you down the aisle.
include them in other ways
You can split the day if you want to have your family close and an intimate exchange of vows just between the two of you. Some ways you can do this is either involving your family in the special moments before the ceremony, like getting ready together, be part of a first look, having brunch with your friends, or have them wait for you after the ceremony and celebrate together. Split the elopement in two days, or the same night have a reception where you can meet all your guests. You can even split the ceremony in two parts and this is happening sometimes in bigger weddings as well. The couple exchanges vows in a very intimate way and then they meet the loved ones and the officiant and “seal the deal”.
Some couples prefer to have two days- one can be the actual wedding day with a ceremony surrounded by everyone and the next day is just the couple, going in a beautiful place, doing all the activities they want to do and maybe repeat or say their vows again.
Elope without family- how to still include them
Before the elopement
Have a send off dinner with your friends and family, have a batchlorette party
If you are doing the legal arrangements and you are getting married legally in your hometown before the elopement you can have them as witnesses
You can have them write letters that you can read during or after the ceremony, some people had a collage with their pictures and signatures or a short message
Shop for your wedding dress or wedding attire with your best friends, parents, etc
Have them record videos that you can play on your elopement day
During the elopement
You can Skype or FaceTime them, or even have a Google Hangouts or a Zoom watch party session. So many times I had grandparents or parents watching live from their homes either before or during the ceremony.
Call your family right after and pop the champagne while on the phone with them
Record a video for them that you can play at your reception when you get back home
After the ceremony
Throw a party! COUPLE’S FAVORITE. So many of my couples chose to have huge (their words) party when they get back home- some brides are even wearing their wedding dresses
Share the pictures from your elopement day and relive the day with them
Make thank you cards and send them to your loved ones thanking them for understanding and tell them how special it was for you
There are endless meaningful ways to include your friends and family in your dream elopement without sacrificing what you and your partner truly want from this event. Have fun!
